I'm a candy caddy surgeon, I do it for kicks
I'm fixin' little boys and I'm fixin' on chicks
I steal from the thin as they wait at my door
and I fill them all up with sugar galore

I'm an Indian giver, with flies in my eyes
and I can't see nothin' but blackened out skies
I play a hard game that nobody wins
and I'll get up tomorrow and do it again

Ice cream man, we'll push your soft serve van over
Give back our money or give us our order
We wait in the rain for your song to come play
So the riot will start up again

I'm some millionaire's kid, with mountains of gold
But I chose the life that I ought to own
Based on grades on complexion and useless skills
Not worth much, just more bills

With iced rice popsicles and liver cones
I'm filling them with toxins and shipping them home
I'm paying for rent, I'm paying for god
and I didn't lose the car, just the parking lot

Ice cream man, we'll push your soft serve van over
Give back our money or give us our order
We wait in the rain for your song to come play
So the riot will start up again

I'm a pristine teenager with crabapple cheeks
I got nothing to lose, just pointless weeks
Well, I like to gamble, and I like to cheat
and I'm quick with my wit, just not quick on my feet

Well, it's all fun and games until someone gets sick
and that one is me and I'm going to quit
I'm done with this game, I'm losing my fame
I don't want to play anymore

Ice cream man, we'll push your soft serve van over
Give back our money or give us our order
We wait in the rain for your song to come play
So the riot will start up again

I'm a pencil pushing daisy pusher
I block out the noise
of crying kids and racecar skids and electric toys
I'm waiting on angels, I'm waiting on hell
and whoever gets there first, best have something to sell
I'm not racin' for a placin' at the tippity top
and nothing but death is gonna make me stop
I won't hit the brakes, I won't hit the gas
I'll just sit here like an animal being watched through the glass
Through the glass